Weighing thoughts

A LOT has been on my mind.

A LOT! 

I think more than ever has been before.

 I feel like once I start this blogpost, I will never stop. 

I'm crazy right now. 

I don't even know what I'm thinking VS. what I'm feeling. 

I can't tell if these sickening anxious feelings are action induced, or just wayyyy too much diet coke all the time. Guess I'll never know until I quit... so long diet coke. 

I'm still here, I still feel.

I feel a lot, so much in fact that sometimes I want to curl up into a ball pretty much anywhere and go to sleep because it's the only time I'm numb to it all. I wouldn't say I'm depressed, I don't think negatively at all, I just am scared I guess? I don't really know how to define what I'm feeling. 

This probably isn't very informative to most, and I want it to be vague. It's not meant to be understood by all. It's actually very private, but a way I can maybe put it in words, and feel some sort of peace

Day 1:

I'm great, so many ideas, extremely positive, and ready to take on the world

Day 2:

Figuring out how I'm going to accomplish all the things that have been running through my mind, no one can bring me down, I'm still on top of the world.

Day 3: 

Things remind me. Kind of stop me in my tracks. Take me back a little bit.

Day 4: 

Everything reminds me. No thinking of anything else. Full focus of my mind, my soul, my energy.

Day 5:

Numb. Deaf. Blind. Non-existent 

Day 6: 

Notice the sun, notice the people, notice the care, the smiles, the warmth

Day 7:

Remember God, remember Heavenly father, remember that filter 'of everything happens for a reason', and remember I have plenty to smile about:)

COUNT YOUR BLESSINGS PEOPLE

Life isn't so bad. God is the most powerful filter there is. 

God has three answers to your prayers: 

1. Yes

2. Not yet

3. I have something better in mind

Seriously god is always there, he is ALWAYS there to pick you up, I feel so ashamed that I forget this every time until I need something. I've had one really good year where I made him the focus of my life, and nothing has EVER compared. There was a constant understanding that there was a plan for me. That I am here for a reason. I am a daughter of god, and I need to share that with people. Our entire existence is only so we can return to him. 

I will someday, and I plan to make him proud. 

PS: when I started this blog post I had no intentions of it going in the direction it just did, but I am extremely happy about it. I actually had a whole lot of stuff to complain about, and now I don't:) Blessings in disguise! 

Also, Ashli and I have recorded a video. We look weird, but it's another step in the right direction:)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EH6IUkCw6BM

It's not easy to be me

I guess this is just to get this out there. Ha, I'm learnin'

Safe and sound

I know... so much for blogging more often, but I am uploading another video of my singing. I have not really been keeping up with my goals... but I'm trying:/ Hope you enjoy anyways. Sorry it's such a rough recording.

Confused

I know I said I wasn't confused, but now I just have a feeling of confusion. Maybe it's anxiety? Jealousy? I don't know what's changed in 48 hours, but it's been a complete 180. Where to even begin? Well first of all.... what is the big deal about new years eve and new years? Yeah I get that's it's pretty cool that we are now living a year that we will never live again, but really Mcdonalds? You have to be closed both days? You are seriously killing me! I NEED my Diet Coke, and have now driven to you twice, and been completely disappointed. Ugh. Also, sleep... is not my friend. Sleeping and not sleeping is literally destroying my brain. I feel like I can't focus, I don't want to do anything, I'm not really motivated. I guess I can not deprive my brain of rest anymore... you win, Brain. Geez. New year's was flipping cold until the hotel, which now owns my new glasses, and my other sandal. I didn't want to wake anyone up in the other room so I just left it thinking someone would grab it, buuuuttt uhhh, it doesn't seem like anybody did. Guess I need to call the hotel dang it. I miss how things were a month ago. I would never have guesseed things could change this quickly, which is weird, because I've been there done that like 1,000 times. It's just been a while, and I didn't really make them happen, they just did, so it's taking some getting used to. I'm moving home... my car is still packed full of my stuff... I NEED to empty my car, but I have no energy to do so. I absolutely HAVE to because I need to pick up all the rest that is at my house before they charge me another month's rent. Hopefully Todd is just cool with it. Dev got engaged... finally ha. Congrats. I went to a New Year's Eve party for about 5 minutes that had 6 married couples... all my friend's that have married Scott's friends. It is rrreeeaaaallllyyy weird to see. Poor Steve was ridin' solo ha. Yeah this probably isn't making a lot of sense and isn't in any sort of order, but it's the things that are on my mind, hopefully if I put them here, they will stay here. Seriously though, my body needs a Mcdonald's diet coke. My stomach hurts. So ornery. For those of you that think I never getting frustrated... this is me frustrated right now. I just feel like I don't even know what to do. Better just do service or be productive. If any one knows of any service that someone needs, or something they themselves are in need of, please tell. I will be selfishly unselfish and help you so it helps me!! Another thing.... my family's dog is afraid of fireworks, so for the past two days she was been shaking non-stop and she will not leave my side... it's rather annoying. Anyways I guess I better end things on a lighter note so you don't all hate me the next time you see me!! My voice is pretty scratchy, (losing it once again) but here is a little something I recorded. My favorite song, is seemed more than appropriate:) It's a bit more upbeat than normal ha. 

The whole world in my hands

Got talked into blogging once again ha, I always forget about it. I'm driven this time though, I have soooo many goals. I'm in love with reaching them, if that makes any sense. I am so excited for 2012 it's ridiculous. 

SO A FEW THINGS

1. I am moving back home in the next three days (Yes, I was only gone almost 3 months)
2. I am going to start selling pre-season for Vivint
3. GUESS WHAT I GOT FOR CHRISTMAS?!! Ha, everyone already knows
4. Guess what else I got?? A MICROPHONE!! Now we can make music! YAY
5. I will soon find out where I will be living this summer, hopefully making a little bit of extra money 
6. I want a new car, that is a brand new goal as of today, my car was struggling back from St. George
7. Once I get back... I am either moving to New York, or France ha, haven't really decided yet! 

CRAZY I KNOW 

Who do I think I am?? 

I am Danyel F-n Snow

I can do whatever I want, and no one will stop me:) 

I am seriously so excited, and I noticed something the other day that I had never really paid attention to.

People, telling their success stories, always talk about how people told them they would never amount to anything, or that their ideas were crazy, and then they took that and proved them wrong! Well I never have anyone telling me I can't do something, in fact, I have the opposite! If the whole world thinks I can do something... what in the hell am I doing telling myself I can't?? Geez.... I am done being afraid, or thinking something is too hard, is too far away, or out of reach. Seriously I have the whole world in my hands, and I need to take advantage of that!! Anyways, pretty much everyone should come to this realization, because it's incredible. So plan on hearing from me a lot more often!! 

NIGHT

Oh thank heavens, literally

“Life’s tragedy is that we get old too soon and wise too late.”

- Benjamin Franklin

Yes, it's true. We do. Smart and wise are two very different things. I am honestly blessed to have been surrounded by very wise people for many years of my life now. I now have worked as a CNA at an alzheimer's unit for three months. It's the absolute worst disease in the world. You have your health and strength... but you can't, no matter how hard you try, control it. Can you imagine not being able to express yourself? No wonder they are agitated all the time; plus the simplest things you and I do everyday every second, are a struggle for them. It's rough. The poor things could be abused, neglected, or hurt, and you would never know it. It knows no age either, it can happen to anyone. We have a 58 year old:( 

The most genuine compliment you will ever get, is one from an alzheimer's sufferer. 

I don't know why I just went off on that, probably because it's all I do anymore ha. I love it though. Never a dull moment. It's a blessing to be able to work doing something that actually makes a difference, whether people know it or not. It's the most satisfying job. Guess I just wanted to show a little gratitude. 

Well I know I always say this, but it has been a long time since I've blogged again. I work so much, and then I sleep when I get home because I crash from all the energy drinks I drink everyday. 

I GOTTA QUIT THAT

Good news is, someone inspired me. I don't even remember what it actually said, but something Jordan Brown posted on his pinterest said something about how being succesful has to do with how hard you are willing to work.... I know we've heard quotes like this all the time, but then I thought about how good Jordan really is at what he does. He really does work wayyyy hard. So I've tried to apply this to a few things I want to do. Yes I want to build assisted living homes and I want to build a reception, but everyone knows I want to sing. The thing is I don't have any way to make music. So I FORCED myself to practice the one song on the guitar all the time... and I can pretty much play it without looking now! Oh and that makes learning more... WAY more exciting now. I'm dying. I'm actually gonna make this happen. Mikayla is in... Ashli might just be a little too sarcastic and doubting, but hopefully she will see the vision soon!! I've got a goal to actually write, sing, record a song by the end of this month... and it might happen! Really I would rather do this than anything else in the ENTIRE world. 

FYI I just started tweeting ha. DORK I know, well actually the world thinks that's pretty cool, kind of dorky that it took me this long to start though. Apparently at one time I started a tumblr too, ha and now I am updating my blog. WHOA I'm on one ha. Gotta connect with people somehow right? Why not ten different ways ha. LOVE IT. 

LOVE THESE, Thank you PINTEREST:)

Just watch;)

SIEZE THE HELL OUT OF TODAY, why not?

Wish I remembered to do this everyday, it changes your perspective on everything

I might just be crazy enough;) WATCH OUT

if only

SIMPLE

XOXOxxOoXOoxXXoOXOX

Just dropping in

TOTALLY STOLE THIS FROM MY LITTLE SISTERS BLOG, she wrote it; I like it though, mostly the way she wrote it out. I thought it was pretty cool. 

I've kind of had a rough couple of weeks too, and usually when I blog I somehow manage to inspire myself so I thought now was the time! 

I see nothing.
Or else I see everything empty.
Empty Roads.         Empty Houses.        Bare Trees.       Airless Balloons.        Peopleless Churches.
Sad looking really. 

I walk alone on this Avenue of Shattered Hopes, there are abandoned cars that line the streets where smiling faces used to fill the air, now there is no one smiling,
                                                                             no one hugging,
                                                                                        no one kissing,
                                                                                                        just empty streets.
Empty fields.          Empty barns.           Empty faces of people I've never seen.     Children looking to the skies.

They see birds.

Hundreds of them.

Thousands of them.

They're flying away.    I wish I could fly away too,
                                                         To somewhere new.

Where people love, and care for each other, and share their time with one another, as families, and as friends.  Where we join hands as a people.  We stand as ONE.  Where smiles are shown, and emotions are shared, and feelings mean something.  But NO.

I see sad faces
                  and
                      Jukeboxes. . . . . No longer playing.                             PUNCHED WALLS.
          and Smashed guitars.               and emptiness.


-Mikayla Snow

THEN.... something we all know, Taylor Swift is a genius. I seriously admire that she has the guts to say what the rest of us pretend we don't think. Everything she writes, we can all relate to. It's amazing. So I decided to post some of her lyrics, quotes, etc.. that I found. 

THIS IS JUST A COOL QUOTE AND PICTURE. 

AND, I know I said this before, but I actually have been practicing the guitar again. I have a goal to spend at least 20 minutes on it each day. I am slow, that's my biggest problem. I have a hard time switching from note to note. I will get it though, when I tell myself I'm gonna practice for an hour, I get overwhelmed, so I am going for a much more reasonable goal ha. Once I start to get okay at it though, it will all be downhill. I like to be the best ha, right now I'm just stuck on the frustrating part. Plus I love singing to it! I know one song and I love to sing it over and over again. It's finally getting exciting! 

I will blog more again I promise. Things are all coming back together now! I know I've said that before, but really this time. They all sort of fell apart for a while! 

BYE!!!