Confused

I know I said I wasn't confused, but now I just have a feeling of confusion. Maybe it's anxiety? Jealousy? I don't know what's changed in 48 hours, but it's been a complete 180. Where to even begin? Well first of all.... what is the big deal about new years eve and new years? Yeah I get that's it's pretty cool that we are now living a year that we will never live again, but really Mcdonalds? You have to be closed both days? You are seriously killing me! I NEED my Diet Coke, and have now driven to you twice, and been completely disappointed. Ugh. Also, sleep... is not my friend. Sleeping and not sleeping is literally destroying my brain. I feel like I can't focus, I don't want to do anything, I'm not really motivated. I guess I can not deprive my brain of rest anymore... you win, Brain. Geez. New year's was flipping cold until the hotel, which now owns my new glasses, and my other sandal. I didn't want to wake anyone up in the other room so I just left it thinking someone would grab it, buuuuttt uhhh, it doesn't seem like anybody did. Guess I need to call the hotel dang it. I miss how things were a month ago. I would never have guesseed things could change this quickly, which is weird, because I've been there done that like 1,000 times. It's just been a while, and I didn't really make them happen, they just did, so it's taking some getting used to. I'm moving home... my car is still packed full of my stuff... I NEED to empty my car, but I have no energy to do so. I absolutely HAVE to because I need to pick up all the rest that is at my house before they charge me another month's rent. Hopefully Todd is just cool with it. Dev got engaged... finally ha. Congrats. I went to a New Year's Eve party for about 5 minutes that had 6 married couples... all my friend's that have married Scott's friends. It is rrreeeaaaallllyyy weird to see. Poor Steve was ridin' solo ha. Yeah this probably isn't making a lot of sense and isn't in any sort of order, but it's the things that are on my mind, hopefully if I put them here, they will stay here. Seriously though, my body needs a Mcdonald's diet coke. My stomach hurts. So ornery. For those of you that think I never getting frustrated... this is me frustrated right now. I just feel like I don't even know what to do. Better just do service or be productive. If any one knows of any service that someone needs, or something they themselves are in need of, please tell. I will be selfishly unselfish and help you so it helps me!! Another thing.... my family's dog is afraid of fireworks, so for the past two days she was been shaking non-stop and she will not leave my side... it's rather annoying. Anyways I guess I better end things on a lighter note so you don't all hate me the next time you see me!! My voice is pretty scratchy, (losing it once again) but here is a little something I recorded. My favorite song, is seemed more than appropriate:) It's a bit more upbeat than normal ha. 

The whole world in my hands

Got talked into blogging once again ha, I always forget about it. I'm driven this time though, I have soooo many goals. I'm in love with reaching them, if that makes any sense. I am so excited for 2012 it's ridiculous. 

SO A FEW THINGS

1. I am moving back home in the next three days (Yes, I was only gone almost 3 months)
2. I am going to start selling pre-season for Vivint
3. GUESS WHAT I GOT FOR CHRISTMAS?!! Ha, everyone already knows
4. Guess what else I got?? A MICROPHONE!! Now we can make music! YAY
5. I will soon find out where I will be living this summer, hopefully making a little bit of extra money 
6. I want a new car, that is a brand new goal as of today, my car was struggling back from St. George
7. Once I get back... I am either moving to New York, or France ha, haven't really decided yet! 

CRAZY I KNOW 

Who do I think I am?? 

I am Danyel F-n Snow

I can do whatever I want, and no one will stop me:) 

I am seriously so excited, and I noticed something the other day that I had never really paid attention to.

People, telling their success stories, always talk about how people told them they would never amount to anything, or that their ideas were crazy, and then they took that and proved them wrong! Well I never have anyone telling me I can't do something, in fact, I have the opposite! If the whole world thinks I can do something... what in the hell am I doing telling myself I can't?? Geez.... I am done being afraid, or thinking something is too hard, is too far away, or out of reach. Seriously I have the whole world in my hands, and I need to take advantage of that!! Anyways, pretty much everyone should come to this realization, because it's incredible. So plan on hearing from me a lot more often!! 

NIGHT

Oh thank heavens, literally

“Life’s tragedy is that we get old too soon and wise too late.”

- Benjamin Franklin

Yes, it's true. We do. Smart and wise are two very different things. I am honestly blessed to have been surrounded by very wise people for many years of my life now. I now have worked as a CNA at an alzheimer's unit for three months. It's the absolute worst disease in the world. You have your health and strength... but you can't, no matter how hard you try, control it. Can you imagine not being able to express yourself? No wonder they are agitated all the time; plus the simplest things you and I do everyday every second, are a struggle for them. It's rough. The poor things could be abused, neglected, or hurt, and you would never know it. It knows no age either, it can happen to anyone. We have a 58 year old:( 

The most genuine compliment you will ever get, is one from an alzheimer's sufferer. 

I don't know why I just went off on that, probably because it's all I do anymore ha. I love it though. Never a dull moment. It's a blessing to be able to work doing something that actually makes a difference, whether people know it or not. It's the most satisfying job. Guess I just wanted to show a little gratitude. 

Well I know I always say this, but it has been a long time since I've blogged again. I work so much, and then I sleep when I get home because I crash from all the energy drinks I drink everyday. 

I GOTTA QUIT THAT

Good news is, someone inspired me. I don't even remember what it actually said, but something Jordan Brown posted on his pinterest said something about how being succesful has to do with how hard you are willing to work.... I know we've heard quotes like this all the time, but then I thought about how good Jordan really is at what he does. He really does work wayyyy hard. So I've tried to apply this to a few things I want to do. Yes I want to build assisted living homes and I want to build a reception, but everyone knows I want to sing. The thing is I don't have any way to make music. So I FORCED myself to practice the one song on the guitar all the time... and I can pretty much play it without looking now! Oh and that makes learning more... WAY more exciting now. I'm dying. I'm actually gonna make this happen. Mikayla is in... Ashli might just be a little too sarcastic and doubting, but hopefully she will see the vision soon!! I've got a goal to actually write, sing, record a song by the end of this month... and it might happen! Really I would rather do this than anything else in the ENTIRE world. 

FYI I just started tweeting ha. DORK I know, well actually the world thinks that's pretty cool, kind of dorky that it took me this long to start though. Apparently at one time I started a tumblr too, ha and now I am updating my blog. WHOA I'm on one ha. Gotta connect with people somehow right? Why not ten different ways ha. LOVE IT. 

LOVE THESE, Thank you PINTEREST:)

Just watch;)

SIEZE THE HELL OUT OF TODAY, why not?

Wish I remembered to do this everyday, it changes your perspective on everything

I might just be crazy enough;) WATCH OUT

if only

SIMPLE

XOXOxxOoXOoxXXoOXOX

Just dropping in

TOTALLY STOLE THIS FROM MY LITTLE SISTERS BLOG, she wrote it; I like it though, mostly the way she wrote it out. I thought it was pretty cool. 

I've kind of had a rough couple of weeks too, and usually when I blog I somehow manage to inspire myself so I thought now was the time! 

I see nothing.
Or else I see everything empty.
Empty Roads.         Empty Houses.        Bare Trees.       Airless Balloons.        Peopleless Churches.
Sad looking really. 

I walk alone on this Avenue of Shattered Hopes, there are abandoned cars that line the streets where smiling faces used to fill the air, now there is no one smiling,
                                                                             no one hugging,
                                                                                        no one kissing,
                                                                                                        just empty streets.
Empty fields.          Empty barns.           Empty faces of people I've never seen.     Children looking to the skies.

They see birds.

Hundreds of them.

Thousands of them.

They're flying away.    I wish I could fly away too,
                                                         To somewhere new.

Where people love, and care for each other, and share their time with one another, as families, and as friends.  Where we join hands as a people.  We stand as ONE.  Where smiles are shown, and emotions are shared, and feelings mean something.  But NO.

I see sad faces
                  and
                      Jukeboxes. . . . . No longer playing.                             PUNCHED WALLS.
          and Smashed guitars.               and emptiness.


-Mikayla Snow

THEN.... something we all know, Taylor Swift is a genius. I seriously admire that she has the guts to say what the rest of us pretend we don't think. Everything she writes, we can all relate to. It's amazing. So I decided to post some of her lyrics, quotes, etc.. that I found. 

THIS IS JUST A COOL QUOTE AND PICTURE. 

AND, I know I said this before, but I actually have been practicing the guitar again. I have a goal to spend at least 20 minutes on it each day. I am slow, that's my biggest problem. I have a hard time switching from note to note. I will get it though, when I tell myself I'm gonna practice for an hour, I get overwhelmed, so I am going for a much more reasonable goal ha. Once I start to get okay at it though, it will all be downhill. I like to be the best ha, right now I'm just stuck on the frustrating part. Plus I love singing to it! I know one song and I love to sing it over and over again. It's finally getting exciting! 

I will blog more again I promise. Things are all coming back together now! I know I've said that before, but really this time. They all sort of fell apart for a while! 

BYE!!!

A GREAT NEW BEGINNING

Okay, so I think I'm pretty safe in saying I have a job!! Ha, I've officially worked three shifts, which makes me an actual employee at Alta Ridge Alzheimers!! It feels so good, it will be a hell of a time catching up with money though. CA didn't treat me too well when it comes to that. I will get there though, I just wish I could work more! Honestly I've missed working. A lot. My first day my back ached so much, I seriously thought I wasn't going to be able to hack it. I proved myself though, I have a hall that I am assigned to, and they told me they were only gonna train me two days, then I was on my own... because of my work experience ha.... trusting I know. However, I'd like to say I did great, I did everything I was supposed to and more:) I took an extra shift the day after, and was pretty nervous about it, because I was all on my own, and I rocked it ha.

I love it

 I already have fallen in love with so many people, and I just can't wait to make a difference. It's definitely my passion, and

I've sure missed it.

Another funny little sidenote, Taylor Weiland and I went to Bastille a few weeks back, and I turned in an application. They said they weren't hiring, but they would take my resume in case they needed someone. So this last week Taylor and I hung out and she said she got an e-mail from Bastille saying that she was to call in for an interview. Ha, but she never applied... luckily she was with me so that she could tell me. Turns out that when Taylor and I were in CA together, we had put both of our resumes in the same little box. I somehow grabbed her resume without noticing and turned it in ha. So today I forwarded them the message and attached my resume. Just kind of funny that things like that can happen ha. It would be awesome to work there a few nights a week too though.

Also, I want to be a redbull girl... more than anything pretty much ha. It seriously just sounds like so much fun. So today Brian told me that the redbull girls came into his work and he asked them how to become one, they said you just go online and if there is a job opening, that is where you apply. So I did. Ha I didn't realize it was like a legit job though, ha oh well. If it is supposed to be I will figure it out ha. I seriously just want to carry one of those big fat redbull cans on my back. I can't think of a better job, doesn't hurt that Ashli and I are both obsessed with redbull as it is:)

I guess maybe I can start planning again now. I have always made plans, but lately things have been so out of my hands that I've had to just let things happen and deal with it. I'm not complaining at all either. I'm actually really grateful! I haven't really had these challenges in the past, and like they say, "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger" and it certainly does!! I have been so moneywise the last three months!! I have never been that way in my life, guess I needed this after all ha. Good thing I have a great family, and awesome friends that make it a whole lot easier.

My mom has this quote in our house:
"When you have nothing left but god, you become aware that god is enough"

LOVE IT

And................

DIET COKE IS NOT LONGER IN CONTROL OF MY BODY

and I've never been more happy about anything!!!

I'm finally free ha

I now run on strictly water and lemonade:)

and it feels great

You guys, I have not cried except once (good reason) in I don't know how long. I know they say sometimes it's good to cry, but in all honesty, it is GREAT NOT to cry. I love that there is a plan for me, and that I have that little filter that helps me to see the positive in things. I just always have to remember that:)

<3

This is probably one of my absolute favorite quotes, there are a lot that kind of say the same thing, but none that are so simply put. I hope to leave some kind of legacy someday:)

This kind of goes a long with the last one

I know I already put this on my facebook, but I can't get enough of it. If I could be one human being in the world, I would be her. Seriously? Justin Bieber, HELLO. Plus I wouldn't hate being this pretty!

I must be on a Disney kick too, this will probably get old fast, but I just love songs with so much emotion, and this one takes the cake.

Plus her hair is FABULOUS, RIDICULOUSLY FABULOUS

I'm commited

I just had to tell someone...
I am pretty sure I've got a job...
I don't want to speak too soon...
already had my hopes up twice...
but I'm on the schedule so that's a good sign I think!!
Ha
but how exciting is that!!!??
YAY!!
I'm seriously doing backflips right now!!

It's in Hollady, and that's perfect because it's near enough to SLC, and also close enough to Draper/Sandy (which is where I am moving) that I can still be close to my family! Seriously all my prayers have been answered!! This is obviously the reason that I didn't get that other job. Three days is all it took! Aww I am so blessed and so grateful for this. I can't even explain!

Plus I just talked to Jentri and she goes to SLCC and works up at the hospital in Murray and she totally wants to move up there too! Now I just have to save a little bit of money. Might be hard since all my money I make will either go to bills or the gas to get me to and from work haha! I seriously don't even care. I will not eat for a month if that's what it takes. I'm just super grateful.

And to show my gratitude, I've decided I am not kissing a boy until I have been to the temple. I am dead serious about this too. I want that more than anything. I visited the Draper temple (my favorite) today for the first time since I've been home, and it just made me want it so much all over again. I don't know why I get lazy and let things that are so important to me, get put on the back burner.

I SWEAR ON MY LIFE I AM DOING THIS.

I cannot even wait.

 SO YEAH.

ha

OH AND I FOUND THESE CUTE QUOTES... NOT SUPER RELEVANT THOUGH

I GUESS THIS ONE CAN BE SOMEWHAT RELEVANT HA

 (about the kissing I mean)

And I like this one because I really do live by it. I just love how simple it is, but it's powerful. Really, it doesn't matter what you are doing, as long as you're giving it your all, unless you're a murderer or something sketchy like that.... then you should probably not be good at it.

Anyways.... still pretty boring I know, but I was stoked and had to put it out there!

Blessings

Okay So I have not blogged in a really long time; since I've moved home. 

I have just been having TOO much fun.

It doesn't help that for some reason my MAC charger decided to stop working either. I can't even upload pictures! I borrowed Brian's when he was home, but now he is in freaking CANADA and definitely can't borrow it from him there. So I'm sorry this blogpost will be fairly boring, I didn't think people really read my blog, but there were 26 views today, and around that many each day, so I guess for the few people that do check up on me, I owe you an apology! I really do enjoy blogging, and I feel like now that things are finally settling down, I will probably be posting more often!! 

Small update:

 It's crazy when you look back at trials and they have suddenly become blessings. I have been SOOO stressed out, worrying about finding a job, almost mad that I was leaving every weekend, doing family stuff, limiting the time I had to search for a job, but now I realize there is a reason that job lead me on so long! I got to do so many of our family vacations that I've missed the past 4-5 YEARS!! 

I seriously LOVE my family.

 I'm obsessed.

 I legitimately have THEE coolest family! 

We bicker, we fight, we SCREAM and YELL, but we love each other so much. We would do anything for each other, and I can't believe how much I've missed these past few years working... so I could buy clothes... or go on vacations with friends. I feel somehow I've grown up a bit; realized that Utah is my home, where I belong. I want to stay as close to my family as possible!

 forever.

 I value that so much more than I ever have! I really am so grateful for everything they do for me! 

And my friends..... Ha. I have the greatest friends ever. I smile the ENTIRE time I am with them. I don't even care who I end up hanging out with at the end of the night because I ONLY have such good ones! They kill me, they're entertaining, they're there for me, they're supportive, they're helpful, they're genuinely good people. I just can't believe how blessed I am! Really it makes me want to cry when I remember to count my blessings. I hate when I feel sorry for myself, but I am grateful that I get that way sometimes because it reminds me of what I do have. 

SO THANKS GUYS. 

EVERYONE. 

I mean it. 

Next

I have some weird emotions lately, and I HATE them. I hate when I feel a certain way, and no matter how hard I try to not think about it, or forget it, I have no control over it. Just things that have happened, that I wish I could change, or people in my life that are leaving and I don't want them to leave. It's just been a roller coaster. Even more so for my mom. Sometimes I wish I had a time machine, other times I wish I could stop time completely. I guess that's what life is about though. Moving on, changing, progressing.. etc. I just haven't ever felt like so many things around me were completely out of my hands. It's all just chance now. I guess maybe I should be happy that for so much of my life, I have been able to control a lot? I know people have it so much worse than me, who am I kidding... I seriously don't even have it bad at all, but still. It's just a foreign feeling, and I'm just not all that happy with it. Ughhh blabbering on about nothing. 

Duces on that subject.

Anyways, better go get a job now.